Getting into the elevator today the right half buckled and opened up into emptiness and I jump-gripped onto the edge, then climbed through the open door. Later some prick backed into my motorcycle then got out of the car and pissed on it. I saw that the prick was none other than Schneider himself, totally out of character for him to urinate on a motor vehicle. To make up for it, he lit up a joint, handed it to me, then got back into his car. I've never seen Schneider drive before in my life, and I've known him twenty years. Next thing I know I am watching a fresh oyster sparking and juicing it up on a grill. Then a guy in sunglasses sucks it up in a whiff of air. Two women dressed up as paper mache siamese turds, and another in a fly costume sticking to them. Want a shit sandwich? Two butter crackers and fudge. They ask me to empty my wallet. I oblige. The wallet is overflowing with kelp.