David Moscovich (You) meets Raymond Federman (He Said). Chicago. Friday, September 30, 2005.
Here are the highlights:
Din, din, din, ruffy din, din, din. Pasta, pasti, pasta pasty waste inca, litchka, kafka, broddka, gun, gun, gun, gunny shista, shitsa McBista, pista, lissa, lissa, lissa, you. A size seven shoe. Lissa, you, fatha hey farther you hay the frather you bathe. The way you stare wearing monster cock underwear, there's a yellow beak under there. This mahton, mahton, mccormick and shist. Lomy, ginny, gin, gin, gin bore yee, hompdatwinkle, take a tinkle in your din, din, din. Just as prehappens, per chapps, per chapps, po chapps I recieved an email you were in my cargo, key largo, shicargo, key largo, chicargo. Fall caps, happen staps, ansee, wankle, winkla fingerman, fingerman, finger your man, fenger your meng, fengler you'll tie the long, wet, sloppy winter, are you bund, did you bind, you flatter, Moscovich you slobber, you are too friendly, too cold, too old, too sorrowful and expatriated your kindness for a bottle of genna-lee whickey, whickey wong. That's me. Whickey Wong.It's All One Novel, he said. All The Books Are One Novel, he said. Federman said. In Many Installments, Yes. Many Installments. Yes, he said and admitted as much and very warm and very warm with eyes and generous with his stories, generous to the point you wonder how he keeps giving it, doing it, you a libra, you a toy, you a district seven boy, you are voy, voy you are, void you are, you are voi, you are, too, cake man two, who shuska, kafra, capra, kofta, simulacrayon, simultation, simultitted, pencilbaited, switch inflate, switch and wait, coddle, custle, hustle custard, mustard waiting for who brought you? Whatever You Do You Must Be Free, That's Why I Write, he said. Federman said. Whatever You Do You Must Be Free. De la mechanismu care te asteapta. (Free of the machine that awaits you). I never saw him take a drink, though believe me, his glass was filled with Merlot. Put down the pen, Moscovich, there are live people in the room and a jukebox, no, keep writing, your voice is louder this way, you don't have the din, din, din, ote, ote, ote, it's so terribly convenient not to have a wife. Poata si tot te asteapta -- toata viata m-am scapat de realitate, zice Federman, It's A Nice Place To Visit, Reality, But I Wouldn't Want To Stay For Long, he said. Federman said. Now you're getting lost in the Romanian subjunctive, he seemed to sparkle when he found out who I was. It's Guys Like You That Keep Me Writing The Way I Write, Federman said. You know your ignorance is an immeasurable void so you only listened. When the Russian approached Federman and said, you know, you should shorten your phrases, it's rather like a twitch the way you tell stories, he said. Why is it the Jews are always telling long-winded stories, ah? The Russian was playing his hand but he laid it down too soon, he was too drunk and lost in the din, Federman just winkled and went on. That's a twinkle and a wink. Because they travelled so much, to put it simply, they always carried the book with them. And When You Are Writing A Novel, You Are Working On It All The Time, he said. Federman said. We were watching Critical Mass from the third floor when he brings up the insanity, or was it the bat, who turned to me and said, I Eat Boys Like You For Breakfast. And what do you do for hors d'ourves, I asked and Federman started to quote Beckett, he said, We Are All Born Crazy Only a Few Remain So. A Laudal, de laudal, der monda, dei fondu, dei corpu, dumnezeu pe cuvintu meu, cu dumnezeu am fost in conversatie, draga, alceneva nu putea sa ma crede. No one else would have believed me, but Federman believed me, he belived me when I said I had somewhere to go. I thought I had somewhere to go. But there was nowhere to go. There was Wine and Sam's Sara.